ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Are we still banned from the library?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize