Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
