i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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