i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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