pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
