Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I faked an abortion last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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