It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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