IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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