thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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