i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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