I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
