Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
