Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
