Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
