I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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