can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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