the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize