I cockslap morals
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize