My nipple is on Facebook.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
