think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
