I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
