Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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