whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
