The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
