HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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