...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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