you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
