was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
