A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
