wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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