So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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