Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
