I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
