I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
