its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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