I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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