Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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