If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
