I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
