His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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