this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
