You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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