I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
