dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
