I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
