next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
