He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
