he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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