Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize