its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
