that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize