I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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