What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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