i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
