I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
