i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
