Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you still have your period?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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