? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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