I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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