I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
